Divorce is a hell like nothing else. It’s the death of dreams, it’s the death of a commitment you took on fully, willingly, lovingly. It’s the death of family as you’ve known it. Divorce is hell fiscally, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Divorce can damned well kill you because you are in such uncharted, ugly territory. Divorce is not where you thought you’d be when you said, “I do.”
You never imagined you’d say:
“I felt like I was going insane--absolutely insane!”
“I’d be happy, then all of a sudden I was really sad, then I was furious, then I was happy . . .”
“I lost a ton of weight--I looked like hell.”
“Oh god I gained so much weight--I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror. I’m still trying to get it off.”
“My kids hated me because I was divorcing their dad.”
“My daughter told me it was about time.”
“Our friends chose my ex.”
“I have never felt so alone.”
“There was so much to understand--to figure out. I was overwhelmed every day.”
“This was supposed to be cheap--a collaborative divorce your know? It was so expensive!”
“Divorce messed up every single thing in my life. But deep down, I knew--I just knew I was doing the right thing.”
“I was so scared to sin and go against my church but I had to. I just had to.”
“I loved him. I still loved him. But I felt like my soul would die if I stayed married to him.”
“The whole thing was a mess. One huge freakin’ mess. But I felt this weird freedom along the way and I knew I was doing the right thing for myself. And that felt good. Finally, I felt good.”
Seven years ago I was in the mess of divorce and it was pure hell. The years it took to decide to get divorced and then to actually get divorced were the longest, most incredibly painful years of my life. I was moving from the home I loved; I was unemployed and my only child was graduating from high school and moving away to attend college. To ice that cupcake, I was entering menopause. To my surprise I had become a single, unemployed, depressed, menopausal, nestless, empty-nester. In my scramble to make sense of my new circumstances I tried to think, drink, and eat my way out of the mess I was in. I sat and worried and fumed and spun the same negative thoughts around in my poor tired brain--a cyclone of self destruction! I was drinking way too much red wine at night and eating way too much chocolate during the day. Talk about a downward spiral!
I vividly recall one night when the stress and grief took hold of my like a physical force--like a horrible, all-consuming black cloud. I lay on the floor, curled up in the fetal position and cried until I threw up. I remember being absolutely amazed that I actually woke up the next day--I believed I’d shattered to pieces.
Shortly after that night of deep grief, I literally stumbled onto a survival path that kept me sane, leveled out the roller coaster, replaced binge eating and drinking and helped me get physically, mentally and spiritually stronger every day, despite the mess I was in.
Robin Roberts said, “Let your mess be your message.” She is so right with this excellent advice. Because I had discovered a survival path, I was able to navigate the hellish mess of divorce. I want to share my path--three simple daily steps--with you so you can survive too. I was so blessed to “discover” these steps when I did--they made all the difference for me during those dark, confusing divorce years.
I’ve practiced these steps every day for the past seven years and now I’m living a very different life. I’m running my own company doing the work of my heart and soul and I live in a new city with a culture and climate I love.
Divorce is a time when you and your life are the most messed up. Yet, divorce is the most critical time in your life to stay healthy, focused, clear headed, and confident so you can advocate for yourself in a way you never have before. These three steps will help you do just that. Click below to get yours now!